I confess that I had to apologize to my teenage son last week for being too hard on him about a number of things. I tried to explain that the way I responded to him about a couple issues really had nothing to do with that specific issue or even with him. Instead, it was because I was feeling stressed about another issue and I failed to regulate my emotions when interacting with him.

This is what Amiel is getting at with his quote, “We are never more discontented with others than when we are discontented with ourselves.”

When we are upset with ourselves or some aspect of our life, it’s often too easy to take it out on others–usually people we love and care about the most, whether our spouse, children, friends, etc.

It’s a fact of life that hurting people hurt people.

As difficult as it may be, we need to be able to recognize when we are dysregulated and when we get into conflict with others, realize that our best course of action is to refrain from responding in the moment, but instead, take time to cool down and view the situation objectively before responding.

No one deserves to have our frustrations taken out on them.

And when it happens TO us, we need to have empathy for the individual and realize that there is a likely a situation in their life causing them stress and extend them some grace instead of responding in kind.

It’s easier said than done, and I’ve failed many times, but our relationships are at risk if we don’t.